Two Things I Thought About Today

I have no idea whether this will be a regular thing or not, but the two things I thought about today that would make good blog posts are probably not extensive enough to be a full post for each, so why not get them both in one go and have a full post? This is what is known as efficiency. Or laziness,  whichever you prefer. Writers are like that.

1) The Oscars

So surely by now you’ve heard about the great fumble at the Oscars, how they announced La La Land had won Best Picture, then quickly came out and said that there was a mistake and Moonlight had actually won. Considering I have watched neither of these films–I don’t watch that many movies in general–perhaps I can give an objective perspective on this. Maybe.

I’ll be honest, at first I thought Jimmy Kimmel was being his usual unfunny self and pranking us all like it’s a fucking Youtube ‘social experiment’. I really hate Jimmy Kimmel, you must understand. This is a blog, I get to be a little soapboxy. Also, I wasn’t paying enough attention and didn’t notice that Kimmel wasn’t even announcing the winner at the time. Go me.

But no, there had been an honest, genuine mistake. They had the wrong piece of paper, specifically the one for Best Actress, for Emma Stone’s performance in La La Land. Okay, fair enough. Mistakes happen, papers get mixed around, someone isn’t careful enough when they put things in envelopes. It just doesn’t usually happen on national television. Protip, if you are ever on national television, under no circumstances whatsoever should you make even the tiniest mistkae. You will go viral, people will make fun of you and you will not ever live it down. I’ve seen it happen before, and I have no doubt in my mind that I will see it happen again. Probably won’t even be that long.

I learned one thing from this experience, and that’s this: the public does not decide who wins the Oscars. I genuinely did not know this until I looked it up and found out the La La Land had actually blown every other film in the running out of the water with a whopping 38% of the votes. Moonlight got 11%. Here’s a good article on who actually decides who wins the Oscars (will open in a new tab, as will any other links I put on this blog). Apparently, I thought it was like the Kid’s Choice Awards on Nickelodeon or something.

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Oh, those aren’t fair, either. Never mind, then.

2) Reading Rainbow and Memory

So. How do you remember the Reading Rainbow theme song? You know, from the PBS show? If you’re anything like all the people I’ve asked so far, you either somehow haven’t watched it, or you remember it like this or like this.

So how the fuck do I very clearly remember it like this?

That’s right, I specifically remember it going, AND I SAY HEEEEEY HEY HEY HEYAYAYA, HEEEEEY HEY HEY, I SAID HEY, WHAT’S GOING ON?

This isn’t like the whole Bernstein Bears or however the fuck you spell it, where a lot of people remember it a different way. No, I am alone in this very clear memory of standing in front of the television as a kid and hearing that song.

I see three possibilities:

  1. Memes have ruined my memory. I would not be surprised one bit, but it would be discouraging to say the least.
  2. I remember it the same because the two songs have very similar notes and vocals. I find this the most likely explanation, honestly. It’s happened to me before. I’m a forgetful person that way.
  3. I’ve been dropped into an alternate universe wholly different from my home one. I’ve suspected this too, considering the Oscars fumble, Donald Trump and Moby Dick being about gay sex. When do I get to go back to my homeworld?

Okay, that’s all for now, I think. Excuse me while I go find the time crystals that will send me back to my homeworld.

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